Jinkoidization

     Manny! Manny! Manny!

     Another Manny Pacquiao fight just ended and won. And so, the world may ask, what is it to me? How will Manny's apparent victory change an ordinary Jinky, not his very own Jinkee who for sure would gladly welcome additional Hermes and LV bags diamond-encrusted edition?

     Well for one, his fight personally reminded me how beautiful our national anthem is! (Thanks to international Pinay sensation Charice). The las time I really sang itwas way back high school. Last full shows don't require me to sing as the anthem played is an MTV. I just need to stand up and put my right hand on my chest. But it is such a beautiful song that never fails to rouse the fire and love for my country. It brings me back to my youthful ideals but at the same time reminds me that it was never quenched at all: I am still Gabriela, Melchora and Corazon. Ever changing face of Pinays but the same fervor and pride.

     "Lupa ng Araw, ng Luwalhati't Pagsinta

     (Land of the Sun, of Glory and of Love)

     Buhay ay langit sa piling mo

     (Life with you is an eternal bliss)

     Aming ligaya nang pag may mang-aapi

     (It is our joy that when oppressors come)

     Ang mamatay ng dahil sa yo"

     (To lay down our lives for your sake)

     Second, for a few minutes in history, Manny being ever proud of his roots, reminds not only the world but much more us the Filipinos what we are made of -- world class quality! Wherever we may be, we should not forget our identity. We can be Financial Analysts in multinational banks, construction workers in Middle East, health or domestic workers in the US -- but job titles do not define who we are but what we give. We give out knock-out punches, sound critical lending decisions, robust manpower and sincere care. We are passionate. We are able and trained. We are hardworking and purpose-driven. We are world-class!

     Manny reinforces some obvious values that we most too often neglect. For one, nothing beats hardwork. It is not as if Manny just jumped into the boxing ring all fit and strong. Leading to the big showdown are months and months of strict and disciplined training. Like in life, it takes great preparation for one glorious moment. It is not one-off. It is not luck. It is not always successful. It is steel determination to stand up after a fall and say "I learned. I will try again."

     Manny lifts up everybody's spirit, stirs the hearts of Pinoys and unites us to a common goal. (Although I wish it would also apply to his governance which would constitute another topic). He divides the wall and makes us forget our differences even for a while. Zero traffic as almost everybody's stuck at home watching, or somewhere Pay Per View. Zero crime rate as even offenders pause to hear Manny offer his triumph to Filipino people.

     So what is it for me if Pacman is now again multi-million dollars richer? What is it for me if he gains another product endorsement in additiion to his ever-increasing web -- Nike, Rexona Deodorant, Head and Shoulders Shampoo, Alaxan Fast Relief Pain Reliever, Datu Puti Vinegar and Soy Sause, Ginebra San Miguel, Vitwater and so on? What is it for me if he conquered Hatton, Cotto, Morales, Mosley and the likes? Answer is, Pacman is proudly a Filipino, the same way I am proudly a Filipina. His victory is my victory. His honor, I can call mine. So Congratulations Pacman! Good job!

     Manny! Manny! Manny!:D

     I arrived home from work with sore throat and a 40-degree fever. I have been stressed and sleep-deprived for the past few days. But instead of looking for my medicine kit and taking Paracetamol, I just slumped on my queen-sized bed and stare at the ceiling. I think, nothing to worry about. Some things are meant to go away on their own.

     Like people. It has been said too many times that we should not feel bad if someone said goodbye. We cannot hold them down no matter how much we try if they are not meant to stay. We can only be glad that once, they passed our way. There is a reason why he/she did not make it to our future. One thing certain is every encounter leaves us something to enrich ourselves.

     Rude people taught me that courage does not always need to intimidate. Rudeness ironically is a coward's way to appear strong. It is so much more difficult to control one's self than to be rude. But power does not belong to the one who shouts but to one who could wish his/her offender well.

     Insincere people taught me that no amount of eloquence and brilliantly-crafted words can bind a hurting heart. It is not honesty but love that can set us free, not the hardcore facts but the intention and fashion this truth has been delivered.

     Overly intelligent people taught me that they are the slowest to learn. They could not accept the fact that some things are just so simple that they try to complicate and find logic and formula  in everything. Once they learn something is out of their control, that it demands surrender, that it does not require calculations..they don't jump and just watch from afar convincing themselves that learning equates to observing

     But what I want to teach myself is-- as long as I cultivate and plant my own garden, I will not find myself waiting needlessly for other people to give me flowers. They can be rude. They can be insincere. They can be overly intelligent. But I will forgive the rude because they are truly scared. I will overlook the insincere because they are weak. I will understand the overly intelligent because they miss out on a lot of wonderful things.

     And if they go away on their own, like a 40-degree fever when it's gone, nothing to worry about... I can only feel relief.

     I woke up to the sound of chirping birds outside my open window, glimpsed at the bluest sky close to the color of the shallow part of the sea and felt the cool morning breeze without the hint of summer. I can almost smell the crashing waves. Just perfect! I went down and fix myself a cup of coffee. And then there's my Mom...

     ---and then there's my Mom! I will leave it like that. I will not print here what she said (as yes, aside from I love and honor her, it will have no bearing in my story) but they're enough to send me running back to my room, sit in a corner and travel back to my childhood.

     My Dad used to drink a lot. Whenever he's drunk, he guaranteed to make my Elementary days ( between 6 to 12 years old) heartbreaking. When I was 6, he told me I should not dance because I'm not good at it. At 7, he went on to say I'm no good with household chores. At 8, he turned off the light while I was doing my school assignments at night because he said I'm too slow to finish them. Between 9 to 16, he centered on me being a whore.

     And now double the age, can it get any worse? Yes. I find myself struggling with the same habit I ultimately abhor! Although not offensively but defensively, I am easily triggered to fight back, to retaliate, answer back harshly and whenever I realize I've fallen into the same trap, it is the worst feeling in the world! I would hate myself so much enough to self-destruct.

     Family, father's love and TRUST are some of the vaguest ideas to me. And my words and actions are but a mere reflection of my reality. I do not in any way promote the mentality of victimhood as an excuse for such behavior. My point exactly is, we should be easier, more patient and a little nicer to others but especially to ourselves, quick to forgive and overlook weaknesses as we are not entirely self-made. Each of us is essentially partly because of our past. The sooner we realize this, the better we also understand other people, the sooner we start to listen to what they really mean to communicate.

     So that's it. Whatever.

     (Translation: In the end, all is well. I am in good terms with both my parents and I believe that I am a work in progress. But come to think of it, a finished product is a finished life. So yes, I am happy the way I am right now. This is not in any way to humiliate my parents but a reminder that hope springs eternal.)